Feinberg Confuses Simon With Odd Menu

Oh, but it's so sweet, the victory that keeps me without a loss...Katz gets just. that. close...Bullies crush cartoon mechanized monsters...lift, dammit, lift!...Namath criticizes the Jets, Suzie, Bob, and the cast of Gilligan's Island...


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Okay, so I had a little email exchange with Mike over the weekend that went something like this:

Oh, so you finally picked up a D.  The Bengals?

Yeah, but remember:  this season, I have much better luck than you do.

Ugh, the Bengals' D just scored a garbage TD.  They suck, and I hate you more than burnt toast.

Uh, perhaps you should blame Denarius Moore, and not my insurance points.  You have less luck than the longest-necked chicken at dinnertime on the farm.

No really.  It really was kinda like that.  Without the snarkiness.

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So, picture this:  you're Tennen, and you're favored by 25.5 points.  You think nothing of going against Scott, who has a fancy Tom Brady and is 4-0.  Then Mike Wallace has a good day.  And then in the late games, Mason Crosby has a big day, 4-for-4 with a long one.  And going into Monday night, the Lions' D just has to have a pretty good day to pull off the statistical upset.  And...and...and...guh.  A sack would have done it.  Soooooooo close.

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It's tough to say that you need to start Malcolm Floyd and Pierre Thomas over Eric Decker and Darren McFadden to win, but...well, Floyd might have been a little more obvious, maybe, if you squinted at it a lot...but Barak has a decent team.  Boldin on the bye hurts.  Still, you're 3-2 now, Eric, which ain't exactly bad.  Barak, your face-off with Nieve this coming weekend will be a little more challenging.

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Speaking of which...talk about your non-verbal response to my teasing you last week, Nieve.  Let's just say that I hope you didn't peak too quickly this season, but no matter what, that was one hell of a fantasy performance.  Five players above 20.  Five!

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In another case of being taunted turning into a decision, Bob started Mrs. Garrett Blount over Marshawn Lynch, and while no one could have forseen the difference being in this direction between these two (for the record, I know two guys who are out of a suicide pool for picking the Giants), it mostly turned the molehill into a mountain for you.  Oh, and if you run into him, please tell Namath that I think he's a f@$!ing &%$hole for mouthing off when its clear that he needs to move from assisted living to full-time care.  If I had my pants pulled up to my chin, I'd be ashamed to leave the house, and this guy's giving interviews like a tornado survivor in Kansas.  And if you want a decent D, shoot me an email, I have one to sell, for a modest upgrade elsewhere.

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Much Motion In Your Ocean

Simon:  10 (congratulations, next time you'll pay)

Tennen:  6

Russ:    5

Brian:   5

Jason:   4

Scott:   4

Bob:     4

Nieve:   2

Barak:   2

Smyth:   0 (seriously?)

High Scorin' Mo-Fos

Team: 156.0, Nieve

QB:    47.0, Aaron Rodgers (Tennen)

RB:    31.0, Beanie Wells (Scott)

WR:    42.0, Welker (Jason)

TE:    24.0, Jimmy Graham (Bob)

DE:    29.0, Ravens (Russ)

PK:    20.0, Seabass (Brian)