Feinberg Whiffs

Sorry, all.  A series of weird work days and the Jewish holidays (hag sameach, to all you tribespeople) kept me from doing a post this week.  I'll be back in action next week.  -Russ

Bob Sits Britt, Blount, Becomes Chucky The Pirate

This week couldn't be more different than last.  Week One saw torrents of scoring and blowouts; Week Two saw mostly grueling chess matches and missed opportunities.

None was so missed than that of The Sons, who sat their own version of the killer bees (that'd be Bradford, Blount and Britt) and instead played Matt Ryan, Arian Foster and Mike Williams.  The QBs were basically a wash, but Foster was a known half-scratch, and Williams, who is usually dependable, was covered in a purple-and-horned blanket, and lost out on a touchdown due to a penalty.  Bad luck, and our first tie.  You just can't get closer than that.

Running up for closest game was Sergeant Hightower busting the Union.  There's no way anyone could think that Jamaal Charles would go down that hard, and for the season yet, and that was clearly the game changer.  One point.

Less than 16 points separated The Ites and The BMOs, and there wasn't a thing Brian could have done about it, even if he'd gone against the (seriously heavy) odds and played Stafford over Vick.  Of course, if you take a look at his roster, it's the walking wounded:  eight guys on the injury report.  Serious ouchies.

Scott's 17.5 win over Barak was another weird one to watch, with A.J. Green blowing off the doors of fellow Bully DeSean Jackson.  Seriously though, Barak, you played Davone Bess over Deion Branch?  Anyway, with Brady, Mike Wallace and the Lions' D, the thunder was a'roarin'.  You didn't even need that TE to contribute.

Which leaves us with the biggest win of the weekend, as Smyth dealt the death blow to a bunch of guys who apparently can't lift anything as a team.  25.5 points should be enough of a message to play Jahvid Best whenever you can, but your WRs just couldn't find a football coming their way if they bought one at Sports Authority.  8-5 should start to pay a few dividends, but I think you're looking trade some time soon.

High Scorin' Mo-Fos

Team: 142.5, Tennen

QB:    37.0, Tom Brady (Scott)

RB:    30.5, Mike Tolbert (Brian)

WR:    36.5, Miles Austin (Mike S.)

TE:    22.0, Gronkowski (Russ)

DE:    22.0, Ravens (Russ)

PK:    13.0, Seabass (Brian), Folk (Bob)

Nuthin' Like Startin' With A 'Stache!

Welcome back, JTTOUers!  I thought I'd start with a great pic of a guy who couldn't get a crown for his head at the end of his fantasy league last year or the one before or ever, and decided to cultivate one for his face.  Holy crap, that is one fine 'stache.  There's never any shortage of lousy storylines in our league, and I figured I'd start with another ridiculous photo to (hopefully) divert your attention from the lousy roundup.  And'a here we go...


This season's first close call comes to none other than our favorite bully, who edged out Sergeant Hightower by a mere point, despite a lousy fantasy showing by Matt Shaub and a negative showing from the Stillers' D.  (Who'd have ever thought they'd read that in their lifetime?)  Jason had me wondering after Monday Night Part One with Welker's ridiculous 99-yard how-do-I-make-Tom-Brady-look-even-better catch 'n run, but Brandon Lloyd managed just enough to seal the deal.  Congrats, Barak, your bullies thieved their first game in the first week, in spite of both of your QBs burning fantasy holes on your respective benches.



On the complete other side, the big blowout of the week was from a true team effort by the Sentinels.  Oh yeah, and Steve Smith The Elder.  Eric, you should send flowers and candy to Cam Newton for making this happen for you.  And Mike, I can't imagine that Maclin will be this much of a no-show as the season wears on, but if you panic before he shakes off the rust, let me know.


A close second for blowout of the week is due to the duo of Moreno and Blount, which sounds better as a pair of RBs than the name of a law firm, except for Week 1.  There's no way you could have known these guys would do so poorly, but when Marshawn Lynch outscores your starters, you have to worry.



This week's fantasy shootout came courtesy of the Mo'town BMOs and cool Steele, with an incredible amount of bench totals, too - 75 and 54.  League be warned, these guys will run it up on you.


Last but not least is the only matchup that came anywhere near the ESPN Fantasy Line, and even with that, betting on me would have lost you your money, since I didn't quite cover.  I think this was a lucky win, as we both had abysmal showings from our WRs - 18 for me, 14.5 for Nieve - and the Ravens' D was clearly my strength (and will likely remain so for the season).  Better lucky than good, I guess.



I'll wait until next week to post the record holders and movers/shakers totals.  I hope you all have a great week.

RUSStafarian